Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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