i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
