My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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