could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Randomize
