I think scott just propositioned me for sex
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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