guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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