Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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