Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Randomize
