When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
