our cab driver is having phone sex.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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