I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Randomize
