I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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