me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
