but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
