are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
