OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
