Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
