Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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