I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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