Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
