How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
love makes seman taste better
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
