Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
