I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
