the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize