I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
My ass is underappreciated
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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