Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
