The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
