I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
