my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
