guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
