does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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