she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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