Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
