Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
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