He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
