She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
