No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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whose parrot is this?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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