paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
