I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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