hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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