Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
