So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
