i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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