Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
