guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
