it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
