OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
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