Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
