is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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