Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
