eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
